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Friday, September 2, 2011

Ben's friends is no friend of mine - follow up. or How to evade responsibility.

I am so saddened that the owner of a support group behaves in a way no different than what many of us have experienced with friends, family, colleagues, etc.

I had written earlier about Ben' Friends group, living with atypical trigeminal neuralgia.

I received a note saying I had been suspended for spam they could not prove and harassment, for which they had no explanation other than to say if I replied to an email from one of the administrators it would be considered harassment.

I sent copies of the email and my replies to Ben so he would be aware of what was happening. He emailed me back asking that we speak by phone.

During the conversation I reiterated that I asked for proof of their allegations: they had none. I also told him I had owned a ning group such as his. When I suspended someone for spam I sent out a note to the group telling them someone had been removed for that reason. The same can be done if someone is removed erroneously.

Accusing someone of spamming and harassment is a major 'crime' on the internet. They needed to apologize, or correct their lie, by posting a note that they had wrongly suspended a member for those reasons. They did not even need to use my name.

This was the reply I received from Ben this morning.

It is a typical response to someone who truly does not 'get' it.

Instead of acknowledging they were wrong, instead of issuing an apology which he said they felt would be "inappropriate" with this "issue" he seemed to put the the blame for this fandango on me, writing "I know you have dealt with a lot in your life, medically," and wished me the best of luck.

My medical experiences had nothing to do with being wrongly accused.

It is sad when moderators, when shown to be wrong, when proven to put out bad information, are rewarded but the whistleblower is shown the door.

Support groups are good and necessary but no group is good, or safe, if the ones on whom members rely are so glued to their wrong positions that they refuse to acknowledge their errors.

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