Platitudes and quotes and why what may make sense in the 'real' world doesn't when you live with pain

I know some people believe these sayings are helpful: Get over it and move on. Good things come to those who wait. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

No They are not.

You cannot get over it if it does not stop. There is no way to move on when the pain continues to beat you up. People who tell you this - to 'move on' do not 'get' chronic pain. If I sprain my ankle but keep limping weeks after it is better or tell the story of how I did it over and over again - for sure I need to get over it. But I cannot get over something that does not go away.

When in pain waiting is not an option. Nothing good can come of waiting. Maybe the pain will go away. Give it more time. I have given it 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 10 years, 30 years. Nothing comes out of waiting but more frustration.

Pain is not a lemon. There is no way to make something sweet out of it.

I may learn a lot of things about myself because of the pain.
For instance, I do not think of myself as courageous. I do not think living with pain or fighting it makes me heroic. In one of those late night college dorm conversations where all sorts of theoretical questions are raised, ideas that seem out of the realm of our possibilities, had you asked me "Do you think you could go through all sorts of surgery, even experimental, because you have chronic constant unrelievable pain?" my first response would have been "What? No one could have such a thing." If I was forced to answer I would have replied "No. Never. I do not know what I would do but I could never, ever imagine such an horrendous thing." Even today it sometimes seems impossible that this is what my life turned out to be.

Some people think it is heroic or courageous to make the fight. I do not feel it is. Courage and heroics seem to me to be the result of a conscious choice. Most of my decisions as to what I allowed to be done to me or agreed to try were the result of sheer life instinct - I must stop the pain. No way is it the end result of turning the pain into something it is not - no lemon into lemonade.

The pain does not kill, at least not all at once. Little slivers, bigger chunks of hopes, expectations, desires. Those are killed. Maybe strength is one result, the strength of resolve to do whatever you must and whatever you can to end the pain. Maybe that last cliche is true. It did not kill me. Maybe I am stronger in many ways I could never have fathomed and ways I still do not realize.